airless. cast away feelings filling the spaces inside
from the last summer and spring. turning into dusts of snowflakes
into fairies sparkling wings and puppets for kids
for such beautiful eyes we each own
never we talked properly over coffee and warm baked pies
with drops of raining staining my smile
wishes and pretty shoes dances on the path we carved
longing for someone to step on the same trail we left

but no..
things are not the same..
i'm lost
lost between this entangled leaves of forest
under the gazillions stars twinkling ahead
i choose other path..
with knee-high yellowish grasses touch me once a while
with suspicions between their eyes

it's in my reach of mind that you won't follow
well don't...
don't bother to call out my name..
cos i'm not coming either way..

I'll be fine..

Saturday Inspirations

WANT to go here!

I wish i have this kind of room to laze around all day, sipping a cup of coffee and wandering off....

“For Attractive lips, speak words of kindness, For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people, For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry, For Beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day, For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.”

— Audrey Hepburn

MALDIVES!

Billboards inpiration:

“The distance between
us might only be inches
but it feels like miles.”

— Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson

moon bar

“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.”

— David Brinkley


Stephen Wiltshire. drawing new york skyline after riding a helicopter for 20 minutes! see more HERE









have a nice relaxing weekend everyone!
x

tasting EUPHORIA

OMG I JUST HAD THE BEST NIGHT YESTERDAY! hahahaha
thank God for making our dream comes true! we performed the dance yesterday and it was a HUGE success! omgomg Sudden i love u guys! hahaha.

finally.. all the hard work, the energy spent, the emotions wasted, the uncertainties, the endless practices, the trip to search for costume, the bruises, the painful warming up,,, it all paid off! i can't possibly ask for more.. we did our best last night and I'm so damn proud. hahahaha.







and yesterday EUPHORIA closing ceremony was a total blast! we had so much fun, jumping until we lost our breath in the middle of the crowd, clapping, screaming. last night was awesome!

i began my day with pounding heart with all the anticipation and the worries for the performance. we did the general rehearsal, we watched basketball game, then i joined metta to pick rena dede and olip up at the salon. oh not to mention due to the pressures and the exhaustion i even slept in the dance room unintentionally.. then it's football last match! Loren A vs Loren B. and chandra played! so we all sprinted to the field, mainly to watch chandra played in the game! hahaha.

then cath and I went back to dance room to curl up my hair then the guys came in and they went to konak's house to take a shower. girls were busy doing their hair and make ups. we changed into our costumes and we met the guys. there was a short briefing for all the performer. then we went back to the dance room. practicing, taking pics, eating our anxious dinner. then we played around.
30 minutes before the performance...
25 minutes...
time went so slow...
20 minutes before the performance......
jeep sprained her upper thigh! omg!
we were all panicked. she hardly could stand and she moaned in pain as we tried to make her stand. then we were supposed to go to the gym as we were the next performer..

then we waited a while for the band and then it's our turn!
everything moved so fast..
i could hear the gig from the opposite side of the curtain. they screamed our team's name. SUDDEN!
we gathered and did the team yell. then the curtain opened up...
spotlight shot to us.
so bright that all i could see of the audiences are blurry dark sea of human and some flashes of light and again.. the endless shriek..

then jeep screamed POSE! and we posed. but the music didn't play for some time. daryl was close to shout HOLD! to cancel the dance pose if anything went wrong. but no. the music blared shortly after the anxiety grew larger..

then i forget everything..




the next second i plunged back to the reality was when i laid there holding my position with my head staring at the ceiling and my legs were thrust up to the sky. then the cheer broke and i put my legs back to the ground.
we came close. held our hands. bow. pose.





and the next second we were running outside of the gymnasium, around the building to the main entrance, ran faster and faster and we were drown in the middle of the crowd......

then there were niji's band and claren's band. then short break. then it's abdul and the coffee theory!!

i just had one of the best nights of my life.

SUDDEN SUDDEN SUDDEN DANCE!!

:D

longing for freedom

so here I am.
sitting in front of my computer, summoning myself with all my might to go to bed and sleep but fail...
i cannot sleep although my body begs me to. my brain's too full with all the things i have to do tomorrow. it's not that I have millions things to do, it's not. all i need to worry tomorrow is only dance performance for the closing ceremony of Euphoria.

but then other little things start to creep through my mind, nagging me on and on about things I shouldn't think about. bits of which I should have forgotten and put them at the back of my head. what am i worried about? life is too good to be worried about. life is too generous. it keeps changing from time to time in a matter of seconds to keep you away from boring bits, it keeps evolving and turning into other things you might want to recall in one fine day in a misty morning. but lately, all i want is just to live usually, which is the hardest thing i can get these days.

after a month of crazy dance practice, now it's going to come to an end. the performance. the only way we can prove to ourselves that those time money and energy spent aren't for nothing. then in a blink of an eye, Euphoria will come to its final day. and we're supposed to get back to our studies. but our studies have also caught up with us. with all the projects, presentations, papers, and among all of them, there stand proudly..INESPO. and ahead of that.. university applications.

when was the last time i went to malls? watch movies? or even just having simple chats and exciting plans with my besties? i even can't remember! and i have my schedule planned 3 weeks ahead of me. fml.

to add more stress, my mom have booked my plane ticket for next year!
wonderful.


I need my share of hot chocolate, pancakes, and road trip to freedom..

I have never been the type for love. I’ve never had any serious relationship, which is quite okay I think, I’m 17 by now, so that might be my excuse. I never fell in love, because I could never actually care about somebody that much. Nobody could ever touch me this deeply to evoke feelings even close to love. I would shrug any sympathy displayed for me off and go on in this arrogant and narcissistic way, just like I always do, at all times. I am not this kind of person. I am not as full of myself as I seem to be, but this is the only way I can avoid hurting people’s feelings. I don’t want to hurt anyone really, but the only way to prevent this seems to be hurting them. Hah.

-Le Love

sakit perut, lemas, lutut biru, pusing, badan sakit2. tp senang :D

hari ini nggak lebih baik dari kemarin..

tp bedanya kemarin akhirnya gw boleh ke sekolah sekitar jam 9-10 an. sampe sekolah ternyata hujan jadi cuman muter bazaar bentar abis itu ikut ngejaga stand bazaar bareng merlyn larry n anak smp n sma lainnya. abis itu ga berapa lama larry datang dengan 2 boks McD yang mestinya buat jatahnya merlyn n dy. dan ternyata nama gw ga ada d daftar anak bazaar. jadi intinya gw ga diakui sebagai panitia bazaar..

udah gitu jeep dateng dan bilang harus makan klo ngga bisa pingsan ntr siang mau dance..
akhirnya larry merelakan mcd nya buat gw dan gw makan dengan was was, tkut muntah lagi.. tp ternyata gw bisa makan dengan normal walaupun ga napsu hahaha. abis itu sekitar jam stgh 1 an, cath telepon dan semua kumpul di gedung biru buat brangkat ke studio. akhirnya gw pun meninggalkan sekolah dan pergi ke studio bareng2 sama yang laen..

sampe di sana kita nyampe setengah jem an lebih awal dari edo. dan kita bisa santai2, dan yang belom makan mcd masi sempet makan dulu, yang blom beli minum beli dulu d indomart sebelah studio.. ga lama setelah itu edo dateng dan pemanasan dimulai.. trus dance dan d kasi gaya buat pengganti lifting. sinting. pake ada d puter2 trus split2an.. tp karena d puter terlalu beresiko jadinya ngga jadi puter2 hahaha..

habis itu sekitar jam 3, kita d suru ganti pake kostum, make sure kostumnya ngga ada masalah dan make sure bagus dan nyaman.. abis itu latian semakin menggila. udah gitu perut gw belom sembuh banget jadi dikit2 sakit dan gw harus duduk kadang2. karena duduk, gw jadi sadar kalo gw haus dan jadi lah gw minum semua minuman yang masih ada airnya, ngga pake nanya punya siapa dolo karena yang laen juga minum udah barbar. punya siapa juga d minum hahaha. pertama gw minum ultra gara2 theo nawarin abis itu gw baru ingt orang sakit perut ga boleh minum susu. tp udah abis stengah kotak!

jadi lah gw semakin sakit perut. abis itu minum aqua dan nestle.. air putih udah abis, pocari sweat pun gw embat juga. dan jadi lah gw makin sering sakit perut. dan akhirnya pas udah selesai latian dan duduk melingkar gw udah terkapar ngga berdaya..

abis itu baru lah kita semua pulang..

gw desi cath rena ikut mobil daryl pulang.. trus dapet kabar kalo bembi menang dan bola cewe menang! waaa! selamattt!! hahahahaha. dan hari ini bola cowo bola cewe basket cewe dan bola smp tanding! ayo semangat semuanya! hahahaha

dan karena hari ini kondisi gw semakin memprihatinkan jadi lah gw d suruh stay di rumah ditemani arak gosok dan panadol. huah! nyokap gw pun melebai dan bilang kalo gw kae gini trus bisa2 gw ga bisa dance dan kena tipus. hahaha. tp ya emang ad bener nya sih, capenya ini cape banget. sampe lemessss bgt.

yaudah deh.. gw mendokan aja dari jauh walopun ngga bisa ntn. hahaha

menunggu jam 1

happy newsssssss! hahahaa
IELTS g udah keluar dan dapet 7.5! yeaaayy!!! gila setelah nunggu 2 minggu dengan deg2annya akhirnya g dapet hasilnya dan ternyata lewat dr 6.5 which means syarat pertama g ke canada udah terpenuhi! yipee! hahahahaha

walopun gw bukan penggemar berat horoskop dan percaya sama semua ramalan2, tapi kmrn itu gw ambil kuis how good will tomorrow be di FB hahaha. crappy i know. tp trus gw dapet 97% hahaha. half true sih.. ielts g dapet 7.5 itu bener2 melegakan! tpi trs kmrn itu dance bener2 di genjot habiss! capeee bgttt rasanya.

di sekolah udah ngecat2 tembok, abs itu ekskul dance abs itu lanjut lagi ke citra afterskul dance sampe stgh 9! menggila. trs pulangnya makan dlo di mm sama camen daryl moses n devin. abs itu sampe rumah udah setengah 10. langsung mandi, trs tidurrrr!!
jam 2 pagi gw kebangun karena menggigil kedinginan.. g bingung juga biasanya gw ga perna mengigil. akhirnya gw matiin AC dan tidur lagi. jam 3 pagi gw bangun lagi karena kepanasan, trs tb2 gw ngerasa pusing banget dan muntah2.. hiaaah! gila gw udah takut bgt besok gw ga bisa ikut pembukaan loren cup n latian dance.

dan bener ajah...

begitu nyokap gw tau gw muntah2 langsung dilarang ke sekolah. jadi lah gw seperti sekarang ini, pengangguran di rumah nunggu jam 1 buat dijemput sama moses n latian dance. dan sekarang bener2 lemesss dan ga bisa ngapa2in.. AYO GW HARUS SEMBUH!! ARGH!