baby step

today is the day of the speech competition and it went very well! i won 2nd place! yeaaayyyy!!

i'm happy, feels great, but the feeling that dominates me even right after i knew that i won 2nd place is not that winning, exciting kind of feeling. it's this tiredness..
i feel really tired, like this is the peak of a week practice and now it's done and i won 2nd place...

and the second feeling is: why can't i be 1st place?!

i know, sounds so ungrateful isn't it?
but somewhere inside me, i want to re-do the speech, do my best, better that what i did, and hear the announcement once more. will they change it somehow? but i know i can't. but it's not like I really hate the winner, or sum kind of it. it's Abel, a 10th grader from my school and i really do think she deserved it.

I also feel thankful to God who gave me this opportunity to speak up in front all of those audiences and for giving me the courage to still goin on with competition after 2 times going home without anything. and i guess, today feels like "this is it! i'm not going to give those precious place to anyone else. i deserve it" and maybe today is what people would call baby step. because this is not a very big competition, still in high-school range, and not international or national event...


and today, while we were on the way to the university where it is held, we talked a little about something called chivalry. it started by david saying "anything i can bring for you?" while looking at our laden hands.

but we refused it and abel said "no, we're independent woman" and we laugh. then David said it's called chivalry, a manly attitude, which i always adore because not many people do that in Indonesia.

it may sounds and looks cheesy tho, but still, i love those classic simple gesture of respect to ladies. like as simple as, letting ladies walked first, enter first, open the door for ladies, or giving seats to ladies. it feels special and respected isn't it? and who wouldn't like that?
david said he got punished if he didn't do that kind of chivalry like opening the car door for ladies.

well, i just wish there are more "chivalrious" men in indonesia.




gotta go to bed *yawn*
xoxoxo.