Don't wish for anything you don't really mean to. in case it really do come true..

something caught my eye while reading By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept...here's the sentence..

no one can lie, no one can hide anything, when he looks directly into someone's eyes. and any woman with the least bit of sensitivity can read the eyes of a man in love.[....] I had never dreamed that after all these years he would still remember [...] But that was so many years ago-it was another life, a life whose innocence had opened my heart to all that was good.


well, i can't bring my eyes to see those that urge me to say my feelings. the feelings which i just want to run away, saying 'i don't think i like u, sorry!' but there's a little piece in your brilliant eyes that creates another new calmer voice in my head, saying

'why don't you try? he is all about what you used to write in your "i WON'T take risk for anyone else anymore, ever! except the one that ticks all these points below.." list, isn't he? so what if he's someone you know? you expect to find a perfect-looking stranger and fall in a crazy love together, run away somewhere beautiful and never coming back? ha ha ha. very funny. enough with strangers. now, take it or leave it?'

my heart rebels against it. "but there isn't such thing. that is just a stupid insignificant list, God won't even know i write this"




-- but you know what..
God knows.
He listens.
He watches all this time..
all the pretentious laughter, forced smile, cries, tears, disappointments..He knows it all.
so my message here: Don't wish for anything you don't really mean to. in case it really do come true..